Social Media and Motherhood

Social media is a whole new ball game the second you announce you're pregnant, because suddenly everyone is an expert about the baby you're carrying. You can't do x,y, or z without a comment from somebody who would never do that while pregnant. And don't even think about announcing the name you plan on using for your kid.

Then of course there's actually parenting the kid, and the new larger, more opinionated wave of people. They all know what's best, your pediatrician doesn't really know anything, and you know the least about your kid according to Facebook/Instagram.

So here's my handy guide to the kind of shit you'll see if you share your pregnancy and parenting on social media & whether it's safe to share or not.

 Announcing your pregnancy: 

Did you take a cute, posed, original photo? If the answer is no, than don't post that shit. 

Is this baby #4 or more? If so, don't even think about it. 

Baby names:

Did you find out the names of all of the kids your Facebook friends have? Do not, under any circumstance choose of their children's names. No, it doesn't matter that the name is in the Top 100, and literally 47 other children will have that name once they go to school. 

Just tell people that you're letting the kid pick their own name once they're old enough. You'll get less flack that way. 

Delivering the baby:

Being induced? Don't say a word. Only the worst of the worst do that.

Letting baby come on their own? How could you? Don't you know that every day the placenta loses quality? You're risking your child's life. How selfish.

C-section? Just get off social media.

Breast or Bottle:

Breastfeeding and being proud of it is waaaaaay too inappropriate. Don't ever talk about feeding your kid in public. Boobs are for the bedroom. 

Bottle feeding is crazy and how could you choose it for your child? Don't you know breast is best? Unless it's in public, and you should see above. 

Car seats:

Do yourself a favor and don't ever share a picture of your kid in a car seat. Just act like your kid never has to be in one, doctor appointments be damned (pediatrician's don't know anything anyway)

Sleeping Habits:

Sleep training is for heartless parents, that don't care about their children's well being or future happiness. 

It doesn't matter that your kid is 67.5 months old and you haven't slept more than an hour at a time since they were born. 

Don't sleep with your kid, that's sooooo dangerous. 

Don't put your kid in crib and make them sleep alone, it goes against nature.

Hopefully you found this guide helpful! 

*Seriously ya'll, this is all sarcasm but this is the kind of stuff that happens every single day on social media and it is getting out of hand. If someone does something a different way than you do just move on. We shouldn't have to add a disclaimer about others' opinions just to post about our kids!*